Since the Year Dot humanity has looked to its end. Instead of concentrating on the here and now, and how we are going to deal with immediate problems, we look to the future and wonder how it will all come crashing down. I can understand the first people being alarmed, wondering if the sun was going to come up in the morning. The first earthquakes, floods, volcanoes, famines and fires must have been seen as signs that the world was in fact coming to an end. Understandable. Then along comes science, reason and enlightenment. Humanity being raised from its baseness and ushered into a new era of understanding and logic. Yeah, right. All science has done is make us more creative in the way we think the world is going to end. Archeology gives us the fateful Mayan end of the world (don’t book any holidays to South America to see the ruins any time after 2012), Astronomy predicts a meteorite strike (and NASA gets its budget slashed, so don’t get your hopes up of Bruce Willis and an Aerosmith soundtrack saving us), Earth Science warns of deathly global warming (and helped former US President Al Gore get an Oscar and a Grammy, talk about a triple threat, for his song and dance routine), and Medical Science gives us the dangers of genetic cloning and eugenics (although I have no problem with cloning Megan Fox and Angelina Jolie, I fear I might be on the ass end of the list).
Science is not the only one prediciting the end of the world, religion has an even more structured prediction. The Apocalypse. The entire last chapter of the Christian Bilble is dedicated to it, the Koran alludes to the Hour and the end of it all, Judaism has the End of Days, Bhudda spoke of destruction (granted its all part of a great cycle), and even the the Norse had their Ragnarok. The Apocalypse, like the Olympics, even has its own mascots. The Four Horsemen. Whilst these heralds of the end are clearly defined in the Christian Book of Revelation, they have found themselves as stalwart icons ingrained into cultural consciousness. These pop culture Riders of Armageddon are Pestilence, War, Famine, and Death. Now, and putting aside the views of those who have studied the Book of Revelation and actually know what they’re talking about, I believe that these pop cultural Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are saddling up.
Let’s start with Pestilence. A pestilence is any virulent and infectious disease that can cause an epidemic. As we are talking Armageddon here, the common cold and tummy aches don’t qualify. We’re talking bubonic plague stuff here, people, and we’re talking about a pandemic that infects at least two out of every three people (with say a 90% casualty rate). Scary, huh? Fortunately nothing has managed to emerge and wrap humanity in such a deathly embrace. Yet. We’ve got some contenders. HIV/AIDS, Ebola, SARS, Dengue, Malaria, Cholera, and now H1N1. Think of these as the cuddly, lazy great-great grandparents of the Big One that is festering and lurking in the shadows. Our overuse of antibiotics and seriously compromised immune systems (due to diet and environmental factors) have this nasty fellow rubbing his hands together and cackling with glee. Our improved transportation systems and failing health care organisations mean he is going to spread faster and wider than those immature and inefficient ancestors of his. He’s not here yet, but if H1N1 is anything to go by then he’s just around the corner. As for H1N1, we might not even need this Big One. We’ve got the idiotic ‘Swine Flue’ parties held to expose children to the virus (not to mention the other childhood diseases that are just, and in some cases even more, deadly), and the willy-nilly dispensing of drugs that have harmful side-effects, not to mention the rushed push for a vaccine that could in the end be worse than the disease itself through a single careless mistake (remember thalidomide?).
I know mentioning the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are the same as beating a dead horse, it’s just not the large, wild red horse of War. Now I know than humankind has had a preoccupation with killing each other since the first man realised a sharp stick could kill his buddy as well as it killed an animal being hunted, but we’re throwing religion into the mix again with as much gusto as was displayed during the Crusades. Difference is that the Crusades, while bloody and brutal, entailed a lot of sharp, metallic weapons being poked at and by the opposing factions. There were no assault rifles, rocket propelled missiles with massive firepower in their warheads, no tanks and F-14s, and certainly no thermonuclear devices that have the ability to level a city. One could say that humankind has come a long way since the Crusades, if only in the area of devising deadlier weapons of mass destruction. Moreover, there a couple of nations that one would not want have such power that have managed to acquire it. North Korea and Iran spring to mind, and that are certainly not the West’s BFFs. Israel has probably got the bomb, and if Jordan and Syria don’t, they will soon. What happens when this technology falls into the hands of those nice, unstable African dictatorships? It will be two fingers up to the West when it tries its economic and cultural sanctions. Hell, not only does Venezuela produce Miss Universe’s but also boatloads of oil. Oil means money, money means arms deals, arms deals end in nuclear armaments. President Chavez has no love for the US, how long before he starts handing out nuclear missiles to hostile nations like they were trick or treating kids? Think Afghanistan and Iraq are Wars? World War One and the sequel, World War Two? The Cold War, please. Vietnam, Korea, Timor, and the Crimean War? At least Israel’s record of Six Days will be beaten by the next Big One. With nuclear weapons whizzing overhead and suitcase bombs detonating, it might be more like six minutes.
Ah, Famine. I know what you’re thinking, I’m going to bring up Africa. Well, I should, but I’m not going to harp on it. Just think of the famine stricken regions of the poorest continent as a precursor of the things to come. Remember those images of starving and skeletal Ethiopians, flies buzzing on babies faces as they wailed at the lens? Going to look a lot different when it’s Wisconsin and Suffolk. The real famine is not going to be a shortage of food per se, brought on by drought and weather conditions. I’m sure science will soon find a way to control even the natural elements, and turn seawater into drinkable and usable water on a massive scale (the whales have had a monopoly on it for too long anyway). The real famine is going to be a shortage of money. The 2008/2009 global recession is nothing but a hiccup in comparative scope. The Big One is going to make the Great Depression look like a fun, little adventure. It’s not only going to be investment bankers, car manufacturers, and mortgage companies going belly up, but everyone and everything. Manufacturers will close plants and people will lose jobs. Less will be made, and even less will be able to afford the finite amount of consumer goods produced. No more Pringles workers means no more Pringles. No Twinkies company, no Twinkies. Even Coco-Cola (or as most kids view it today, water) is going to be bankrupt. No more processed foods, including Lean Cuisine. That’s okay, I hear you say, I’ll just plant my own vegetables and raise a cow or two, maybe even some chickens. Where? Your house is gone. Besides, you had much experience farming? Kids aren’t going to be of much help, hardly any of them can identify fresh fruits and vegetables let alone grow them. Perhaps they should change this Horseman’s name. Famine isn’t quite accurate any more. What about, Fiscal (both personal and institutional) Irresponsibility, Horseman of the Apocalypse? I know, it is a mouthful, but at least it is a mouthful of something.
Last, and most certainly not least, is Death. The culmination of the works of riders Pestilence, War and Famine (Fiscal, both personal and institutional, Irresponsibility). Add to their deeds the rise in violent crimes, murders, suicide as a result of depression and abuse, drug abuse, DUI accidents, texting while driving accidents, bludgeoning people for their Xbox or iPhone, child abuse, fraud, identity theft, and jaywalking. While most of the above result in the physical death of someone, the real Death of Armageddon is the sorry plight of humanity itself. The Death of our own humanity, our civility and common sense is the death we should truly fear. It is this death that allows the Four Horsemen to mount their steeds and begin the march of our extinction. Remember when the term neighbourly actually meant something? Compassion wasn’t not trodding on a person when they are down, but rather giving them a helping hand up. Charity wasn’t giving to stop being pestered, rather it was something done out of kindness. Go ahead, shake your head, mutter that the world has changed and is now a different place. Well, that’s the bloody problem. Humanity has always been selfish, racist, greedy, indulgent and phobic. Our science, enlightenment and even religion have just made us even more selfish, racist, greedy, indulgent and phobic. It’s usually at this point that I give a little ray of hope to the situation, some way of overcoming the disaster presenting itself before us. There’s no point. It’s too late for holding hands and singing Kumbaya. Don’t believe me. Fine. Shut the hell up for a minute, turn off the television, put down the cellphone, take the iPod earphones off, and shut down your hybrid car’s engine. Now, listen. Hear that? Hoof-beats.
No comments:
Post a Comment