I meant the 22nd. Yup, today we got home from shopping about and such, and we were an hour late for doing Mommy’s chore. Apparently her chore started at 3, but she was told to start at 4. I had even tried to call a few minutes before 4 saying we’d be a a little late, but that didn’t stop them from changing our put out date to the 22nd. So now we get to miss the ‘magical Christmas’ they had planned. I’m not going to lie to you, I wasn’t exactly expecting much on Christmas, but I thought at least we’d be here. I guess not. I even tried to pray right quick, hoping maybe if I put it in god’s hands we’d have a chance, but that didn’t stop them from booting us out.
Of course my mom’s attitude toward the whole thing didn’t give them the warm tingles either. It probably didn’t help that she was being extremely rude, but I hate to say it…she can’t help it. Not that it matters here. And let me go into detail how little we matter as people here: I actually began to cry as I attempted to explain away why we’d been late, and what would have happened if we weren’t. But did ‘Miss Jackie’*, as we’ll call her, mind at all…? Did seeing a child cry as she tried her damnedest to hold on to what could possibly be called a ‘home’ being ripped from her hands sway her opinion at all? Nope. Not even a little. In fact, she shooed me away. How nice? I think not.
Not that any of this matters any way. In the end we’re being put out on the 22, whether we like it or not. Though I’m sure “That One Eye’d Bitch” As my mom calls her, sure does. Why does she refer to her in such an awful way? It might have to do with the fact that have her brain is missing, which is why one of her eyes doesn’t work. She’s constantly complaining about one thing or another, and running and telling everything she sees wrong. Like it’ll get her brownie points. Yeah. No. You matter just as little as we do. Of course, that didn’t faze her as she went to tell on my mother that ‘Desiree is talking about me’. Why would my mom talk about you to anyone? The only reason she even went that far as to make up stories is because my mom saw her slap her daughter across the face. Was she going to say anything? No! She could care less! Well, she cares, because the way that little girl’s mother acts is the way my mother’s mother acted, and she can relate, but other than that, she wouldn’t have said anything. My mom says she was just covering her ass, and I may or may not tell her to keep her lies to herself as I’m carting my handful of items from the closet to the car.
I have to say, it is terribly depressing to keep all of your possessions in the back of a Jeep. Not only that, but when you can walk around a store and feel normal being able to toss a pair of socks in your basket, that makes me sad. But I know I’ll never take anything in life for granted again. I know that having our car fixed defiantly broaden our options. Mommy says we’re going to go to LA for the rest of Christmas Break, and come back when I start my new school…maybe I can convince her to get with Ronnie, so at least we’ll have a place to sleep at night. Is that bad? Wanting your mom to get with a man so you can sleep somewhere warm at night? That makes me want to cry having typed that out…made me tear up.
I would give anything to watch my mom sleep comfortably in her own bed again…seeing her toss and turn on a lumpy old mattress makes me want to cry as well. My mom deserves better…she deserves to wake up in her own house…I want to give that to her…she’s given me as much as she can all my life, and recently I’ve had to do a lot of the taking care of…though it was my fault we were down to 50 points anyway.
I guess the worst part is, seeing her suffer.
Yeah. That’s it.
I know the worst day of my life, to date, is the day we were kick out of our house…when I had to sit in the back of the car and she needed to take a shower so bad, but at that time it was simply a luxury. And the police called her saying she needed to come in, right then and there, and she couldn’t even take me to my friend’s house. She just had to drop me off on the side of the road. Seeing her cry, and just…break. She was completely broken then. That was the worst.
My mother is an elegant woman. She a woman of many words, ‘Miss Jackie’ will know that soon. She’s also one of a kind. I love my mother, and I don’t know what I’d do without her. That’s why I want to fix something up for her so bad. She just deserves it.
But I think what’s placing2nd in this race of things to despise in my life, is how these people treat all of us. My friend, Marie*, had a story to tell me about what had happened while I was out and about. During snack time, they gave us, well them, cookies. But when the staff’s family came in, they got cookies and cupcakes, and all kinds of delicious madness. Not only that, but they put my friends in here on display to their families! Like they were some kind of side show, mind you, this isn’t the first time it’s happened. They always put us on display to whoever’s kind enough to grace us with their presence. If we’re lucky, in exchange we get gloves. Or a hat. Thanks.
Do you remember when I told you about them stealing from us? Well, Marie* watched ‘Miss.Grace’* start to rifle through our donations. The donations to us! She even went as far as to put 3 bags, 3 garbage bags full of gifts to us in her car and take them home to her family! How do you do that to the homeless? Take from those who have nothing! But she did, and Marie* is pretty sure she got away with it, too. This place is so ass backwards. I just want to go home! A home. To have one. Now that would be nice.
Somebody wake me from the nightmare.
That’s all I ask…
*Names have been changed, to save me from a lawsuit. 
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